Body Image, let's get f*ckin real...

Ok my beautiful badass, let's take off the kimono and get real about this whole body image thing. There are a million AWESOME reasons to take on the insane challenge of a fitness competition. You test your willpower, you join an awesome community, and duh, your body looks amaze-balls.

But what about all those days you're not stage lean?

Once you've been there, you constantly crave it... or at least I do. Not did, DO. Yes, I am sitting here 6 weeks postpartum straight up pissed off looking in the mirror. But get this, I was pissed before I got pregnant... I was pissed a month after my last show. I'm basically constantly fighting the thought of "I'm freaking fat" in my head. Is this healthy? Hell to the no. Is it accurate? NO. I just had a freaking BABY. But, my mind is a devilish little jerk who I'm trying real hard to smack into submission. I have so kindly coined this state of mind the "Bikini Brain F*ck." Sorry, sometimes it takes an F Bomb to get the point across.

The Bikini Brain F*ck is that little demon inside your head that tells you living at peak condition is a real thing. UH REALITY CHECK. It's not.

Ok, maybe if your whole life is fitness you can live CLOSE to peak condition... but being stage lean year round is just not healthy. Now, I'm not saying go eat all the things the second you get off stage... that is also unhealthy. My goal is to find a place / body situation where I'm a solid (shortish) prep away from stepping on stage, but also living my life the way I want. That means, yes, I will enjoy the occasional cocktail(s). Yes, I will enjoy that huge greasy cheeseburger from Five Guys. YES, I will use the old fashioned milk shake machine sitting on our counter. But it also means yes, I will be out pounding the pavement with my little one in his jogger 6 days a week. Yes, I will be drinking all my water. Yes, I will choose that salad for dinner tonight instead of the Mac'n'Cheese that I'm craving. The key word is BALANCE. 

I don't think enough women in our community really open up about the nasty things they say to themselves in their own head. It's ok, we all think it. And if you don't... GIRL, you're a warrior. I truly believe negative self talk is one of the most damaging things you can do to yourself, and unfortunately, it's quite the bear of a habit to break. So, how am I going to stop being pissed and appreciate this body of mine... which just birthed a miracle and is quite frankly not doing a half bad job bouncing back? Well, I'm going to consciously be GRATEFUL that my body was able to even have that baby. So many women struggle to get pregnant, or can't get pregnant, and I will not be that jerk who takes my situation for granted. I'm going to get EXCITED about the process of finding my post-baby body. Now, let's not kid ourselves, I absolutely dread my daily run right now... but I love how baby Kenny coo's the whole time, and I love that it gives me time to listen to the podcasts I've been missing out on, and I love how freaking kick ass I feel when it's over. I'm going to try new things and use fitness as way to get out of my comfort zone. Orange Theory? Spin Classes? Barre? Sign me up. Let's burn those calories.

So, whether you're sitting staring at the post-baby muffin top like me... or coming off a prep and freaking out about the 5lbs you've gained... or somewhere in between. Let's make a pact, shall we?

Let's banish the negative talk.

Let's think of something super positive that we will tell ourselves everytime that little demon comes in and tries to Bikini Brain F*ck us. Mine? "You just gave birth to the most amazing little boy, and now you have the opportunity to kick ass and take names on a new type of fitness journey. Let's Do This." What's your mantra going to be? I'd love to hear it... and your story. We gotta stick together, cause together we're stronger... together we change the way we live and find our beautifully badass lives.

Stay beautiful,